Never Say Never

From time to time,  certain words  or phrases pop up in our language usages, catch on with the public, and stick around, at least for a while.  One such phrase in recent times is “walk back.” I think it originated with journalists who have used it when a politician or some other  prominent person  retracted or “took back”  something they said. Applying the  negative words to  the individual  made him or her look guilty of equivocation or weakness or even outright lying.

Well, I don’t know what it says about me, but I had to walk back one of my pronouncements. For years I was adamantly against having  any magnets on my refrigerator door.  I didn’t think well of the magnets or the people who  had them. Very judgmental of me, I must say! But then one day my older son sent me in the mail  two magnets of major literary figures. Captivated by them, I humbly walked back my high-sounding words and displayed the two figures immediately. He kept picking up more  and more of the  magnets and brought one or two each time he came to visit. Among the first were Walt Whitman and  Shakespeare. Over time, they were joined by Edgar Allan Poe, Ernest Hemingway, Emily Dickinson, Jane Austen, Virginia Woolf, Zora Neale Hurston, and even the likes of Moby Dick and Robin Hood. So now I have a galaxy of literary greats on my refrigerator

Each figure brings back memorable encounters I had with the author’s  great works when I was a student and  as a teacher of literature. I recall taking my students through a small book of  Emily Dickinson’s poetry.  She’s   a favorite of mine. I’m always stirred by her remarkably  pithy, incisive lines of poetry, so observant about life and human behavior.  But Dickinson was  an unusual woman with unconventional notions about life. Take, for instance, these lines in one of her famous poems: “The soul selects her own society/ Then shuts the door.”  What a picture of exclusivity! The poet  surveyed the human  landscape and decided whom to let into the inner sanctum of her personal space  and  whom to keep out. That was Dickinson’s choice, and that’s the way many of us are, but is that the way to live,  selecting the kind of people we approve for  our relationships and closing the door on all others?  For Emily Dickinson it seemed quite acceptable since  in her chosen lifestyle, she was something of a recluse. But for us who live in  the day-to-day world, having a closed-door attitude toward people smacks of  bias.  People need people, and the world offers us a range of individuals with whom to interact. Opening the soul’s door to them can enrich our experience.

Can we change and accept a variety of individuals with whom to share our soul’s society? Certainly. This morning I had a visit from  someone with whom I   have  had only a slight acquaintance, never made any attempt to go beyond the door of my soul with  her. She brought me a part of a plant from her garden, sharing it in a warm and generous way. We sat and chatted for a while. It was a time of getting to know each other better, to connect. My soul opened the door and found doing so refreshing. Those of us who have made decisions about whom to  open up the door of our soul  to can rethink our decisions, and perhaps “walk back” the ones based on mere preference. As long as we’re not violating any of our ideals, our integrity,  or vital principles, we can shed our biases against  some of God’s children and  accept them for who they are and what they contribute to our world, whether a monumental literary work or a cutting from the garden.

What have you  said never to and later found that when you  walked it back, things were pretty okay after all?  I said never to refrigerator magnets and closed the door, but when I  opened up to accepting them, I discovered a whole new  area of intellectual and emotional pleasure. And gratitude to my son. Without any negative repercussion, we are allowed to walk back our closed-door thinking about a lot of things, espcially  our attitudes toward our fellow human beings.  Remember the words of poet John Donne: “No man is an island,” and keep in mind  the prayer of our Lord, “That they  love one another” (John 13:34). These two concepts blended together can provide us with the key to the joy of  opening up   the door of our soul.

Blessings,

Judith

“Change is scary until you dance with it.”

          Darnell Lamont Walker
Writer, Documentary Producer