Gratitude

grat . i . tude /noun/ thankfulness, appreciation, satisfaction

I find it hard to believe, but, according to the Power Thesaurus, there are over 196 synonyms for the word gratitude. Undoubtedly, those dictionary makers must have exhausted the linguistic storehouse, counting distant shades of meaning in order  to be able to claim such a statistic. From what I have seen of  their list of  possible synonyms,  some of them wander far afield from the central meaning.  Grateful and gratitude are derived from an archaic adjective, grate, which means thankful, and comes from the Latin gratus (not “gratis,” which means something altogether different), meaning  pleasing, agreeable, and thankful, among others. Although the word gratitude has only a vague relationship to “grace,” I find it interesting since we often say grace before meals, a sign of our gratitude.

Gratitude and thankfulness are used interchangeably  even though there are shades of difference between them.  Some writers on the topic contend that the difference lies in the fact that thankfulness is a feeling while gratitude is an action. That might be seen as splitting hairs,  but we can gain an appreciation for the difference in the meaning through the example of a little girl’s reason for giving thanks. When she was  asked what she was thankful for, she replied, “I’m thankful for strangers so I can ask them in.” Gratitude acts.

Tis the season to be thankful, and, thinking back to expectation,  our word for last week,  I would venture  to say that no  one is  surprised  that I chose to write about gratitude. In a word, it was expected. This is the time of year when people ask one another, “Are you ready for Thanksgiving?” One doesn’t have to guess  what they’re asking about.  Most likely it is the preparation for the big feast that is associated with the day. But even at this time of sumptuous cuisine, our word gratitude carries us beyond food and drink and feasting,  culturally ingrained though all of these might be, and leads us to fix our minds on things of internal significance.

Popular best-selling author Leo Buscaglia, in his inspirational  book Bus 9 to Paradise, tells of an incident that happened in his fifth grade class with his beloved teacher Miss V.  At Thanksgiving time, she sat the class down and asked them to tell what they were thankful for.  Their thankfulness ranged over the usual: their toys, pets, parents, friends, turkey–all the things that meant a lot to them. With the naming of each special thing that a child was thankful for, Miss V snapped, “Trivial!” and demanded better answers. She insisted that they  think of “important things.”  For us adults, in trying to think of important things to be thankful for, we may over-reach and expose our obsession with things rather than the spirit of gratitude. Buscaglia captures  the essence of gratitude in a list of the things he is thankful for.

“The miracle of life, the privilege of being alive, of waking up in the morning ready for a new day to be experienced with enthusiasm and vitality, the challenge that is mine to make the world a better place, both for me and for everyone else. For people–each one unique, no two alike. Each with something special to contribute–those who agree with us and help us grow, as well as those  who disagree with us, challenge us and help us to see new possibilities.”

The things  that give true meaning to life are the ones that should  generate gratitude. As we view the panorama of our day-to-day experience, we must be able to sort things out with clear-eyed understanding of what the most important things are, and it may surprise us to find that they are not the ones that loom large and take up the most space in our lives and impress us and our friends with our accomplishments. Poet e. e. Cummings, in his usual  idiosyncratic style, gives us a hint of little things for which we can express gratitude.

I thank you God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky, and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

Gratitude springs from within and covers a wide swath of life; it is many things. It  is  spiritual exercise that links us to a power beyond ourselves; it has emotional impact that connects us with others and bonds us in worthwhile relationships.  Gratitude is a preventative, helping us to purge from  our hearts the corrosion of greed and selfishness and make us other-centered. Gratitude is healing, binding up our wounds of hurt and self-pity, tossing them into God’s sea of forgetfulness. Gratitude is contentment, making us feel satisfied with  what we already have even as we legitimately pursue the things that we would like to  have.  Our gratitude must extend in praise for the things  that have fed our hearts, minds, and bodies and caused them to thrive. And as Buscaglia attests, gratitude leads us to embrace all the good that life has to offer.  In this regard, it would be a worthwhile exercise for all of us to create a gratitude-list and see how many things we can include on it as part of our desire to embrace life.  How about sharing  your list with family and friends on Thanksgiving Day.

As we count our blessings this Thanksgiving season,  let us remember that little things matter. The “little sparrow” and the “lilies of the field” are always on  God’s radar. We who are “of more value than they” are under His watchful care, ample reason for showing gratitude. At this special time,  we can  look for the good and the lovely wherever we are,   and discover,   as Rabbi Harold Kushner has said,  that  our   “life  will suddenly be filled  with gratitude–a feeling that nurtures the soul.”

Blessings,

Judith

*****

Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” 

G. K. Chesterton